Test: What stops you doing Christmas differently?

If, despite your best intentions, you’re still stuck in a festive rut, take our test to uncover your personal barrier to ringing the changes.

When you imagine doing Christmas differently, you feel

All questions are required

Guilty about letting people down
Uncertain how others will react
Worried about being judged
Overwhelmed by the logistics

The voice in your head says

All questions are required

But we've always done it this way
What if we end up doing nothing?
I don't want to cause upset
People will think I'm difficult

You avoid suggesting changes because

All questions are required

You don't want to seem selfish
You fear conflict or confrontation
You worry about being misunderstood
It feels easier to just go along

When faced with difficult conversations, you typically

All questions are required

Avoid them and hope things work out
Worry excessively beforehand
Try to keep everyone happy
Put others' feelings before your own

Your biggest fear about changing Christmas is

All questions are required

Feeling left out
Stoking family tensions
Criticism from others
Making it less good

When you think about your own needs, you feel

All questions are required

Torn between yourself and others
Defensive about having any at all
Unsure if they're valid enough
Unsure of what they even are

The pattern you most recognise in yourself is

All questions are required

People-pleasing and avoiding conflict
Over-explaining and justifying yourself
Putting up with things even when unhappy
Putting yourself last on the list

What stops you speaking up is usually

All questions are required

Not wanting to push people away
Fear of negative reactions
Anticipating criticism or pushback
Doubt that change is possible

When you imagine a different Christmas, your first thought is

All questions are required

Maybe next year
But what about everyone else?
I don't want to rock the boat
They won't understand

Deep down, you know you do too much

All questions are required

Compromising
Thinking
Worrying
Planning

‘The shame was never ours to bear’: how Ruth Ellis’s execution scarred generations of her family

For decades, the execution of Ruth Ellis cast a long shadow over her family, shaping childhoods, relationships and a legacy of trauma. Now, after securing a historic posthumous pardon for her grandmother, Laura Enston tells us how she is reclaiming a story that was once a source of shame.

‘Help — I can’t stop thinking about my married coworker!’: How to stop a workplace crush from becoming an affair

You can’t always control who you’re attracted to, but you can control what happens next. A therapist explains why workplace crushes develop, what they might reveal about your needs, and how to stop attraction from crossing a line.

What happens when the person who murdered your loved one is on death row? The psychology of grief, justice and closure

When someone is murdered, the grief can be devastating. But for families whose loved one’s killer spends decades on death row, the wait for justice can bring its own psychological challenges. Chartered psychologist Dr Ravi Gill explains how repeated delays, anticipatory grief and the hope of an execution can affect the bereavement process – and why closure is rarely straightforward.

If, despite your best intentions, you’re still stuck in a festive rut, take our test to uncover your personal barrier to ringing the changes.

Personality Test

When you imagine doing Christmas differently, you feel

The voice in your head says

You avoid suggesting changes because

When faced with difficult conversations, you typically

Your biggest fear about changing Christmas is

When you think about your own needs, you feel

The pattern you most recognise in yourself is

What stops you speaking up is usually

When you imagine a different Christmas, your first thought is

Deep down, you know you do too much